Okay I know this is kind of off-topic, but the first NY Times article I read this morning just had me laughing.  I guess there’s a new face of terror (free reg. req’d) - Shakir al-Abssi (don’t call him Shakira!  He hates that!)

Now, I know I’m supposed to take these guys seriously, but I just can’t.  I mean, have a look at the pic.  The head terrorist looks to be a menacing 5’3”.  They’re wearing the extremely devout Muslim garb of blue jeans and sneakers.  “Death to Americans!  Our terror shall rain down upon your country, except for your Levi’s and Nike factories!  Allah Akb- hey is that the new iPod?!”.  Then there’s the one dude on the right that couldn’t even be bothered to show up to the picture on time.  “Musafa you are always late!.. No, you’re not getting in the picture!  I’ve told you that one day there would be grievous consequences for always sleeping in!  So, no NYTimes photo op for you!…. Huh?…goddammit, okay jump into the pic but be quick about it cause she’s about to (*click*).. Fuck!”

I really love the staggering in the photo - a couple in the foreground together, a couple spaced out in the background… one guy (”the loner”) off to the left.  It looks like pretty much every boy band picture I’ve ever seen. I won’t even get started on the “training facilities” in the background.  In Lebanon they are called training facilities.  In the western world we call them “Jungle Jim’s Kid Zone” and take our 4-year-olds there on play-dates.
		Absissi: ”Never Gone is by far their best album.  I wore that cd out I played it so much!  And the album cover?  Wow.  Just, wow.

And lastly, we have “the cutter”.  I shit you not, the caption is from the article.

Hussein Hamdan, 19, repeatedly slashed his forearms “just to make a statement.” He says he wants to wage jihad against “Jews or Americans.”

Yeah, kid.  We have people slashing their arms here in America too.  Except ours our suburban highschool girls with Daddy issues.  More on Hamdan:

[He] keeps a poster of Osama bin Laden in the bedroom he shares with two sisters.  “I want to become a mujahedeen and go to jihad in any country where there are Jews or Americans to fight against them,” he said.

Guidance Counselor:  “Yeah, I had a poster of Osama in my bedroom too.  He’s sooo dreamy!  Anyway, let’s see what you filled in for ‘Goals’…{reading}… Jews or Americans?  Any country?  Tell you what, we’ll just mark you down as ‘Undecided’.  Many kids your age haven’t picked a Major yet!”

Abssi finished out the interview with a dire warning to Western readers:  “Be sure to check out my MySpace page when it goes online in a couple months!  It is going to be very kickass, menacing, and be mostly comprised of black with red text, the red symbolizing the blood of Jews and Americans.  And if you are a Jew or American you can forget about me adding you as a Friend.  Do not even ask!.. unless you are the Backstreet Boys.̶